Thursday, November 27, 2008

Gobble Gobble

Hey everybody, I just wanted to make a quick little blurb on here to say happy thanksgiving. No matter what happens, we've all got a lot to stop and say thanks for. So, in between helpings of turkey and pie, say a little thank you think about how lucky we all really are.

Have a great day everyone, and Hook 'em.

adios.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

the end of days is nigh

Earthquakes. Floods. Locusts.

Well, ok, there's no locusts, but crazy stuff is happening in bocas town. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

One week ago today, we had an earthquake, or as I like to call it, an "oh my god what the hell is going on? We're all going to die everyone save yourself". Well, not really. It wasn't all that bad; in fact, I almost slept throught it. I was resting peacefully, off in my little slumber world when the quake struck. The earth was angry that day my friends, but I remained mostly oblivious. You know when you wake up, and you're kind of half awake but still dreaming? Well, that's what happened. I was jolted to alertness, but didn't quite wake up. I vaguely recall knowing that I was in the house, but the sleepy guy that I was thought that the house was on a boat and it was just the ocean acting up. I relaxed, and let the violent shaking rock be gently back to sleep. The next morning, I didn't even remember what had happened until someone asked me if I felt it. The more I thought about it the more my little dream came back to me and i realized that I'd slept through and earthquake. Fun times. The epicenter was on the border of Costa Rica and Panama, or thereabouts, and we didn't really even get the full force of it, but it was still enough to shake some things.

So that was fun, but it was just the beginning. Then the rain started. It has been raining, nonstop, (not an exaggeration) since the day after the quake. We're going on nearly a week here of just a steady, moderately hard rain. I'm safe, i'm ok down here in bocas, but inland there's a lot of damage. The roads are washed out and there are landslides all over the place. The only real bad nature thing here is the super super high tides. I went to the store the other day to get a bottle of water, and at the counter, i was in knee deep water. Carenero is pretty much underwater already; the whole thing is just a big swamp except for the beaches that skirt the island, but there were some waves crashing and flowing inland. It was interesting to watch. Not only that, the floods have knocked out the internet, the cell phone service, the landline service AND the ATM's on the island. (They all used the same dish tower) No planes have come or gone for several days save one or two privately chartered flights. People are stranded. I'm fine though, except I pretty much ran out of money yesterday. With the ATM's out, my cash was dwindling. I didn't have any groceries because I had just moved into a new apartment and i was hungry. With seven dollars in my pocket and no idea when the ATM's would come back online, i headed to the store. I stocked up; a can of tuna and a bag of chips cost me three dollars. It was so hard to spend that money because I just knew the ATMs would never work again and i'd run out of money and starve to death. Back at my place i ate my feast and watched a movie. It was a sad night. At one point, I was looking for a pen or something in my backpack and came across my little body-purse thing that I had worn in panama city. I vaguely recalled my dad telling me store some money away somewhere in case of emergencies, but I couldn't remember if i had done it or not. I checked the pockets and pulled out the most beautiful $100 bill that I had ever seen. I put on my bed, straightened it out so I could revel in its glory, and said a loud genuine thank you to my dad. It was a great moment, and just in time for the thanksgiving season.

Today though, everything is pretty much back up, ATM's included. It hasn't rained all that much today and I think the sun may actually come out. The bad news is that more rain is on the way. I'll be fine everybody, i promise, so instead of worrying about me, think about the people inland that need help. All things considered, the whole thanksgiving thing has taken on a whole new meaning to me. I'm so thankful and humbled after everything that's happened and i want to say an honest thanks to everyone that reads this, consistently or not. You guys are great, and although I've had a great time here, I've got the itch to get back to texas.

Once again, thanks for everything so far guys, I miss you all and I'll be thinking of you on turkey day when I crack open a fresh can of tuna.

adios.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I am alive. I'm aware that it's been several weeks since my last little blurb on here, and for that, loyal fans, i am sorry. But the bottom line is that I am still breathing and still going strong here in beautiful bocas del toro.

The reason I haven't really updated much is that not a lot had really been going on around here. It was pretty slow up until about a week ago when the excrement hit the proverbial fan at los balcones. As you know, I have been waiting tables there when we're lucky enough to have a few customers, which was quite rare. Anyway, it caught up to us and the place is pretty much going under. Going under in that it's pretty much bankrupt. Gabriel, the owner, isn't even around anymore since his wife had a baby a few weeks ago and they're living in David, a city about four hours away. So he comes in a few days a week to check up on the place and fret over the lack of money the place is bringing in. So, the place has been pretty damn slow. I mean slow. There were a few nights in which we served absolutely no food. None. No customers. Not a good thing. And yet, i'm still there, technically working, making my $2 an hour the easy way. I went through a few good books at work. So, the lack of customers and the payroll didn't mix well, and eventually, Gabriel had to let one of the cooks go. Miguel was his name. I was teaching him english and he was so nice and happy all the time that it was really hard to see him go. With his departure, there were something like 6 workers left. Payday came and went without so much as the promise of a payment. Moods soured and it became apparent that this ship was going down. Fast. I continued to work like the busy little bee that I am; gave me a good chance to catch up on my reading and napping and spanish practicing. A week passed, again with no money. Juan told me that he was going to quit, and it became apparent that I should probably consider the same course of action, after I get my money. Gabriel kept giving me later dates, promising to pay the next day or the next week or whatever and eventually, I went on strike. I called in and said, hey, um, i'm not going to work again until I get paid, so, yeah. Gabriel apologized profusely and swore he'd have the money the next day. So when that day rolled around, i went into work to get my money and continue to wait tables. How naive I was. I got there and wasn't going to set any tables or do any real work until I got my money, so I chilled out in the kitchen with Juan and Rosanna. Eventually, Gabriel comes in and asks if he can meet with me in the office. Moment of truth. In the office, he tells me he's really sorry and he's in a lot of debt, you know...the whole sob story forgive me type thing. I told him it was cool, i understand or whatever, I just want my money. It's just business, nothing personal, I just want my money. He showed me a little sheet with my hours or whatever and what he thought he owed me. It was about ten bucks more than what I thought i was owed, so I was alllllll for it. Then the bombshell came crashing into the office. "I'm really sorry man, but I don't have all of the money right now. I can give you about 80 bucks." Not cool. I had waited almost two weeks to get my money, and now this guy wants to tell me that he only has half of it? No, not going to happen. "Hey Gabe, that's not really going to be good enough. You're already two weeks late, I need all my money or I'm not going to be able to work anymore." Stern, yet amiable. I stood my ground. Then, the dirty rat said "yeah, man, you're right. You're a hard worker. I'll give you all your money." He reaches into his wallet and pulls out the remainder of my dough. I was incredulous. Did he really think that he could get away with just stiffing me half my pay? Did he tell me his tragic tale of debt so I wouldn't be surprised when he didn't have all my money? I wasn't hitting him up for a large sum of money. I wasn't going to break his kneecaps, yet. So after he paid me, he told me he can't afford to make payroll anymore and he'd have to let me go and how much it hurt him because I'm such a hard worker or whatever. So now I'm on an on-call basis over there and if they need me, they'll give me a call. They haven't called yet. I don't anticipate that they will, since last I heard there's not even a kitchen staff anymore. Just marisol making drinks for hotel guests and whatever gringos pull up in their boats. So it goes.

what else what else what else?

Joe's monkey pet stole my panama cell phone. Yes, this is a true story.

I was sleeping on the futon in my living room, and Joes pet monkey came in and was hanging out around me sleepy body. He was going through my pockets and I'm pretty sure he ran off with my cellular phone. It's pretty much par for the course, according to joe. The monkey takes things, hides them, and occasionally they're never seen again. I was pretty sure it would turn up at some point so I waited a few days before I broke down and bought a new one. Only in panama.

Other than those two more or less amusing anecdotes it's been pretty slow down here. My life is pretty much beach, sun, eat, sleep repeat. Sounds tough, huh? Actually, it's been a really cool experience so far, and I'm really enjoying it. I've seen a lot of cool things, met a lot of cool people and am going to have a really hard time leaving this place. It has most definitely been a learning experience and I feel like I've changed, even in a minor way, for the better.

One last thing, I almost forgot to mention. I went swimming a few nights ago after it got dark. I was having a good time, just splashing around, chilling out, when I noticed something in the water. It looked like bubbles were flowing off of my hands as I treaded water. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was not, in fact, bubbles, but something glowing under the water. It was phosphorescent algae, which is, gasp, a type of algae that glows when it's been disturbed. So, naturally, swimming disturbs them and causes them to blow up like cheap fireworks. It's probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It's like swimming in a sea of green sparks. It's just one of those things that I never knew existed and now I can't forget. That's pretty much the story of my trip.


Once again, loyal reader, I am sorry it has taken me so much time to post here. It's not because I'm mad at you, I promise.


adios

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Shoddy workmanship

I have now joined an elite fraternity. It took me five weeks to accomplish the necessary tasks and earn the right to call myself a true member of this most prestigious club.

I fell through a dock.

Ok, so, I was walking down a dock to catch a water taxi with joe, when i heard a crack. Next thing I know, I'm falling toward the water at roughly 9.8 m/s^2. I actually had the presence of mind to get a grip as i fell and thrust myself onto another piece of wood so I didn't actually land in the water. I did, however, manage to scrape my left shin along another piece of wood, leaving a nasty trail of scrapes and a pretty impressive, baseball sized bruise in its wake. So I'm in a bit of pain. It's nothing serious, i didn't break anything, the dock excluded, and I've definitely had worse injuries. But I'll be fine here in a few days.

Other than that, I haven't been robbed lately, so I guess I'm doing alright.

Also, I moved. Again. Pictures to come.

adios

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Trouble in Paradise OR How JJ got his stuff back

I was robbed.

As I slept on Tuesday night, someone with enormous balls crept into my room and stole my backpack. Actually, I'm assuming the thief had giant, brass testicles because he was about three feet away from me when he opened my bag, removed my passport and passed it through the bathroom window. Once the deed was done, he crept out the front door, past four other sleeping dudes and disappeared into the darkness. That had to take some serious, serious bravery or an extreme crack addiction. I'd prefer it do be the whole bravery thing. Drugs are bad.

So I wake up the next day. Life is good, the sun is shining. I still had that just-woke-woke-still-a-little-groggy air about me when i noticed my passport in a box next to my bed. "Hm..." i thought to myself, "Who left their passport out. That's just foolish." So i picked it up and checked it. "Oh, it's MY passport. That's weird, I keep this in my back..." at that exact moment, i realized what had happened. My heart sank through the floor of the house and landed in the sand under my feet. I went absolutely nuts. My computer, my camera, my iphone, my watch, some notebooks, my sunglasses, and all my chargers and cords were gone. Just like that. Like they had never been there. The conscientious thief did leave my passport, so I had that going for me. Immediately, the roommates and I hatched a plan.

We immediately assumed that the brass-balled thief was none other than Kkleyton, a rastafarian who Brian employs to do various work with the jetskis and stuff. Yes, that's really how he spells his name. With all the ruckus going on, the neighbor, a panamanian guy with at least 14 kids took notice and came over. He said that he was sorry he didn't say anything before, but the other day, he saw two black rasta guys (kkleyton [from now on I'm going to call him clay, get over it] and one of his many many many cousins) passing a computer bag through the bathroom window. Interesting...Tim, the surfer guy that hangs out here, had his computer stolen a few days before. So now we pretty much knew that clay was in on it. We figured that even if somebody had woken up mid-robbery, they would have seen him, and probably not thought much of it since he's here sometimes anyway and it wasn't too unusual for him to crash here occasionally. So, we went through the scenarios in our heads, like Tim Curry in the Clue movie, and decided that we should: A) Go to the cops. Tim, Josh and myself would go to the police, fill out reports, and do shit the right way. 2) Brian and Joe would go find clay, and just keep an eye on him to make sure he didn't leave with a nice new backpack.

On the way to the police station, we ran into Rosanna, a chef at the restaurant and Juan's wife. I informed her of my predicament and she volunteered to come to the police station to serve as a translator. Double awesome. Three hours later, two reports had been filed and the police said they'd meet me at my house in an hour to take finger prints.

After a quick lunch at subway (yes, one just opened in bocas town last week and I never thought that Subway would represent comfort food. Plus I was hoping that they might have dr. pepper. They don't) we headed home to find clay, brian, and joe chillaxing like nothing had happened and nothing had been burgled. Then, the police showed up and shit got interesting. They came in and fingerprinted the bathroom window, took a shit ton of pictures and talked to everyone about what happened in both my case and tim's. Then, they took clay to their boat, which is an awesome drug-running boat that they confiscated from, well, drug runners. As they walked him out, he looked at me and asked me why they were taking him to jail. I said, "dude, I don't know if you did it," (p.s. that was a lie) "but I just want my stuff back. If you know where it is, tell me or tell them and get it back to me." They walked him to the boat, took some more pictures and left just in time for me to have to go to work.

At this point, I had pretty conceded that would never see any of my shit ever again. The most I could do was hope that some young children would learn to read using my computer, or donate my camera to charity or some nice thing. So, I'm at work for, I don't know, an hour, when clay walks in and asks me to go outside with him. Of course, i shit a brick and just knew that I was going to get stabbed in the eyes and even if i got my shit back i'd never see it again. So I asked Juan to join me, mostly because he's a boxer and I'm pretty sure he wouldn't hesitate to punch a bear in the ovaries. So we walk out to talk to clay and he shows me a dollar bill with a phone number on it. "Aye men, Aye tall yoo wat. Dey let me owt da jell hasta six dirty and de tall me aye nee to fine yoo stoff o they gon' thro me back in. Somebody tell me if yoo kawl de nomba ayn yoo ask fo yo shit, day kno where it be."

So I call the number on the dollar, and a guy answers. Before he has a chance to say anything, I tell him I want my stuff back, and I want it back now. He told me he didn't speak english, and for some reason I turned into Ricky Ricardo. My rage boiled over and for a few seconds I spoke fluent spanish. I told him that I wanted my stuff right now, or he and Clayton and everyone is going to jail. The guy on the other side of the phone said he'd give it back to me for $850. Instinct took over. "Go fuck yourself," I said. In retrospect, it probably wasn't the smartest thing to say but it go things moving. I told him "I can't possibly pay you that much money. I can't make any money without my computer anyway. You're completely insane." After some quick negotiation, I got the price down to less than a third of what he asked for. At this point, clayton was about 15 from going to jail, and even though he obviously wasn't the one on the other phone, it was pretty obvious that he did it, or had direct knowledge of who did and knew exactly where to find it. So anyway, I ran into town, got some cash from the ATM, and came back. I handed clay the money with Juan standing next to me and told him to get my shit right now. He said he'd be back in ten minutes with the backpack and the stuff inside. "You'd better be back in 5 minutes or I'm calling the police." he was back in four minutes.

I opened the bag to make sure the stuff was there. For the most part, it was there: my camera, hard drive, camera cord, computer charger and most importantly, my computer. The iphone was missing, but i was so relieved that i really didnt care. It's replaceable and now I can get a new one. I was really tempted to hug clayton but then I remembered that he was the one that did it and that hug became stab. Then, he asked me to sit down and call the police and tell them that i had my stuff back so he wouldn't go to jail. I made the call with him sitting next to me, and the inspector asked me to come in the next day. I told him over the phone that I didn't recognize the guy that I had done the deal with, but only because clay was sitting right next to me. Then clay left, and I went back to work, relieved but still mad that it happened in the first place.

Today at the police station, i had to fill out another report, but I told them all about clayton being the "middleman" and how it all went down. They told me, and please, keep this to yourself, to tell him that as far as i'm concerned the investigation is over and they're no longer actively pursuing him. It is, of course, bullshit. I'm pretty sure that they're going to set up some kind of sting operation with Tim's computer and haul clayton off to jail. The sooner the better.



Not everything has been bad though, in fact, i was having a great week.

Joe's dad and stepmom came into town the other night from their island. We all hung out and they invited me out to their island the next day and night. So the next day I called in dead to work and took off.

It was about a 45 minute boat ride out to their island. I was a little skeptical of the whole situation, to be honest, because there are a lot of islands. I figured they had a little piece of land that stuck out of the water a little bit and there was a house on it. I was mistaken.

island

As you can see, for the most part, i was right. It really is just a piece of land that sticks out of the water a little bit, but it's AWESOME. Joe's dad, Keith, burnt the whole thing to the ground five years ago to get rid of the snakes, bugs, armadillos, plants, hippies, and everything else that they didn't want there, and then he planted golf course grass. I mean, this is some high quality stuff. They're one step away from having to hire Bill Murray's character from Caddyshack. Then, after the grass got going, they put in a few buildings, one's a bedroom, one's a kitchen, one's a living room/bedroom, and another grass-hut type building with yet another bed in it. That's where I slept, here's a picture.

rancho

So basically, this whole island is like a big treehouse. If Gilligan and co. had been here, they wouldn't have wanted to be rescued, not that they really seemed like they did anyway. That professor should have just built a raft or something. Crazy Gilligan. Anyway, the island is kind of remote, so they don't get a lot of boat traffic nearby. In fact, when this guy drove by, keith said it was the busiest he'd seen it all week.

traffic

yes, there's a canoe out there. Yes, that was the only boat that went by all day.

But the best part of the whole island...well, let me show you.
monkey
Yep, MONKEYS. Well, just one monkey. He's their pet, and he's awesome. as you can see, he liked my camera, but he also liked my sunglass my shoes, my hair, chairs, food, bugs, water hoses, grass, ropes, hammocks and the dogs. Check it out.
monkeyride
Why yes, as a matter a of fact, that monkey is riding on a dog. But that wasn't even the cutest thing on the island.
This little guy was.
joebrad
No, not the human, that's Joe by the way. I'm talking about his pet kinkajou, Bradley. Bradley is awesome. He's like a monkey, but without Ebola or AIDS. It's like the best of both worlds. Also, he has little hands and feet that look and feel like human hands and feet. Ha ha, nature is hilarious.

Bradley liked me:
jjbrad
Probably because I'm so damn awesome. That must be it.

Here's a picture of one of their dogs, Jack, keeping an eye on his domain.
dog

And the sunrise was beautiful.
sunrise
Keith and his wife came and woke me up so I wouldn't miss it and although it was really early, i really appreciated it. Words don't do it justice.

Speaking of sun events, I just had to take a picture of the sunset the other day, it was absolutely epic.
sunset

When my camera was stolen, I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to see all this stuff again, thank goodness I got it back. Shit sucks, but life is good.

adios.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Ok, bear with me here

So, I know this is a bit of a stretch, but how incredibly awesome would it be to ride a motorcycle back to texas? Blah blah blah, its dangerous, blah blah blah. I know I know. But all naysaying and reasonable thinking aside, wouldn't it be the coolest thing ever? It's just a thought...for now.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

one fish, two fish, dead fish, blue fish

Hey guys, I'm coming to you from the comfort of the hammock once again. The weather isn't perfect today, but it's still pretty damn nice. We've some clouds rolling in off the mountains to the south and it's keeping the temperature in the lower 80's. It'll probably rain tonight, and the circle of life will march on.

I'm a little sunburned today because Juan, Josh and I went spearfishing for about 4 hours yesterday. We started off at the restaurant-dove in right of the dock. Unfortunately, it was mostly a snorkeling expedition. I didn't even get to shoot at anything. I did watch Juan in action though. He's a spearfishing ninja. He can hold his breath for days. He's like Kevin Costner in Waterworld, but without the gills and a much better actor.

So, after that we moved on to spot 2: a shrimp boat that's tied up to a pier on the other side of the island. The water is clearer there, but it's also quite a bit shallower. We were there for about six seconds when Juan caught his first fish. He tossed the fish on the bank and went back to end the lives of even more fish. We were there for about an hour, Juan caught a few more fish, and I realized how much I suck at shooting a speargun. On the plus side, I did sheck out some HUGE starfish.

We ended the day at our dock behind the house, or is it the front? Anyway, we were trying to kill this decent sized fish that likes to hang out around the house. He was good though, crafty and quick. Even Juan came up empty handed. We ended up getting a few smaller sized fish that I'm gonna take into work today and get fried up for me. Life is good.

So my fishing experiences have lit a fire in me. Tomorrow I'm going to town to buy a speargun and I'm going to spend all my free time snorkeling, looking at fish and killing the big ones. Also, eating and sleeping. I want to become the guy from the dos equis commercials, you know, the most interesting man in the world? I can see it now..."He once caught a great white shark with nothing more than a spear gun and a grudge." I'll either have a great story to tell or an awesome obituary.

So life continues to be extremely difficult down here. I'm thinking about spending the next few days getting my scuba certification. It's something that I've always wanted to do and now's the time to carpe the day.

This place is absolutely full of insane characters. Every single day I meet someone that just amazes me and has hilarious stories. I wish I could bottle this stuff. Caveat: The prostitution here is pretty insane. By here, I mean in panama, not in bocas. But a lot of the old locals talk candidly about how they pay $150 to have girls flown here. It's a little awkward. And by a little, I mean extremely. I laugh it off, and sometimes, genuinely funny stories result, but I swear to god if another 80 year old man tells me about the last weekend he spent with "mya" i'm going spearfishing. For human, the most dangerous game.

It's hard to get too mad though, with the view that I wake up to every day. When I buy my speargun, I'll take some pictures of it and my first haul of fish. Until then, I'll just keep on keeping on.

adios

Friday, October 10, 2008

It's a hard life

So, I'm just sitting in a hammock, looking out at a beautiful day. I moved in with the guys yesterday on the other island. By "moved in" i mean i brought my two bags over on a boat taxi. It was the fastest, easiest move I've ever made. This place lacks a/c, but the fact that I'm not living alone now, along with the view that i'm looking at right now more than make up for it. I think while you're at work/school/being productive, I'm going to go into town and buy myself a hammock and relax for the rest of the day. I may take the short walk down to the pickled parrot, a restaurant/bar on the island, and grab myself a giant burger and a couple cold ones. Bohmfalks is still closed, and I'm on another island anyway, so it's time to move on. Plus, the owner of the pickled parrot Jorge, is an american. He came into the restaurant the other day while I was working and recognized me. We were just about closed, and when I got off work, he bought me a few drinks. He's had a super interesting life, and I'm looking forward to hanging out at his place.

This island, Carenero, is significantly smaller than the other one. There aren't any cars on this island, there aren't any roads and you could easily walk around the whole place in about an hour. Did I mention that the views are beautiful? Starfish, stingrays, crabs...this place is awesome.

On the negative side, the chitras here are absolutely ferocious. I mean, they're so thick it looks like fur when they land on you. We picked up this soap stuff at the store that your rub to keep the bugs away. It's like a brick of solid off and it works like magic. I haven't even seen a bug since I put this stuff on.

Tomorrow, I'm going spear fishing with the chef from the restaurant, Juan. He's meeting me at my new house at 8 am manaña and we're going to spear us some fish. Then, he's gonna fry 'em up and work his magic and I'm going to eat a magnificent meal. And then, as if it couldn't get any better, I'm going to watch Texas beat the jesus out of Oklahoma. Tomorrow will indeed be a good day. Sorry you're at work or school. Get over it.

adios

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Rainy days and panamanian workers are my El Guapos

Alright alright, so it's been a while. I've just been so super busy down here where the water is clear and the beer is cold/cheap that I haven't found the time to update. Forgive me.

I had Thursday and Friday off so naturally they were nasty days that kept me from doing to much outside. The good thing is that the weather here is kind of like the weather in texas, if you don't like it, wait, and it'll change.

I didn't quit my job at the restaurant. I decided I'd be straight with them and just go in and tell them what irked me and see if they appreciated my candor. I didn't get the chance though, because as soon as I went in on Saturday after my two days off, they told me I didn't need to work. They had finally worked out a schedule with another waiter and we both work three days a week, with the restaurant closed on Mondays. It's perfect. Now I have time to veg out in the sand four days a week! So I didn't end up quitting, and I probably won't for now. It doesn't pay a lot, but it doesn't need to. I only pay for food on days that I don't go to work, and it's so cheap that what I make each night at work more than covers it. Also, if you time it right, you can drink all day for 75 cents a beer. Not that I do.

So I've been hanging out with these guys I met at Bohmfalks for a week or two now, and they're pretty ok dudes. They live on the same island as my job and they have a boat, so I don't have to take a water taxi every time I need to go anywhere. I didn't get pictures of all of them, but I did get some on camera.

DSC00354
Ok, so, from left to right we have Taylor, Brian, and Tim. Tim doesn't live with the guys but he likes to hang out at their house and use the internet. He's had a pretty interesting life and he's a hilarious old surfer guy. Salty is the word that comes to mind. Now that I think of it, he reminds me Brian Doyle-Murray. Brian's cousin Josh also lives there as does Joe, the guy I jammed with at bohmfalks.

DSC00360
here's a view of the living room, which is basically a covered porch with, you guessed it, two hammocks and some chairs. Their whole house is kind of like this and the only rooms that are actually enclosed by walls are the bedroom and the bathroom. The rest of the house, including the kitchen, is just kind of an open air patio. It's really cool when there's a breeze coming in off the water and the view from their "living room" is hard to beat on a nice day.


DSC00356
Their dock broke one night while they were all standing on it so they were getting it repaired when I took this picture. Well, it wasn't actually getting repaired but it was in the process of about to be getting fixed. or something. Anyway, I took this picture a little before it usually gets dark, but there were some storms blowing in and it was super gloomy. Whenever storms blow in it seems like they're huge clouds of certain death. It looks really wild. The whole sky goes black and it looks like a Mount Doom. Even when it gets like that, though, the wind doesn't pick up too much and it doesn't get too crazy. It just looks like it. Despite all the darkness from the clouds, you can still see how clear the water is thanks to the flash of my camera. Here's another picture looking straight down from the edge of their living room. It was raining and the water looks cool.

DSC00355

I know I've said it a million times now but the water is so beautifully clear here. Sometimes when I'm on the water taxi to the other island, I can look down and see tons and tons of starfish. The other night, at work, it was kinda slow and the chef and I were looking out at the water and we saw a bunch of cuttlefish chilling out under the dock. They just kinda floated there being awesome or whatever it is that they do.

There's been some interesting developments at Bohmfalk's lately. I haven't been able to go there after work because his workers are on strike on his front porch, refusing to let people enter the building. Apparently he owed them some money or something. They've been there for six days now with a big sign that says "we have rights" or something similar in spanish. They're doing it all wrong though. They're just sitting out there, keeping Bill from making any money so he can't pay them back anyway. If they sold beer from his porch, they could pay it all off in a few weeks. Anyway, it came to a head the other night when I got off work. I saw my friend josh walking towards the bar after I got off the boat so got to talking to him. He said he was heading to his "friends' place". So, naturally, I went along. When we got closer to Bohmfalks, he handed me his drink and said, "When I get up on the porch, count to 15, and if we're fighting, come help me." So I knew immediately that I was in some shit. Apparently, Bill's former employees got tired of not letting people in, so they decided to not let Bill or his wife OUT of the bar. They called Josh because he had filled in for the workers when they had pink eye. The police really aren't an option here because: 1) Bill is white, and his workers are panamanian. and B) Because even if he wanted to bribe them, he didn't have enough money to do it properly. So Josh walked up and just kind of talked to the people about what was going on and eventually they let Bill out of the place. It went about as well as it possibly could have, no one got stabbed.

Luckily, nothing happened, and I ended up just getting some notes for a possible story for the paper. It actually turned out to be pretty funny and not dangerous at all, mom and dad. I promise. I just want the place to reopen so I can watch football there on Saturday.

Well, I need to get off to work. I'll take more random pictures and try to post more, lower quality, material more often.

adios

Thursday, October 2, 2008

another day, another dollar

I'm back with photos of the super-busy restaurant.


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This is a picture from the boat dock where I get off the water taxi everyday. It's a 75 cent ride across the channel to the restaurant. Taxis are easy to get during the day, but at night you have to stand out there with a flashlight and wave it like crazy to get someone to notice you. It's a fun game I like to play. I call it, "hail the water taxi with a flashlight".


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Here's a picture from the inside of the place. You can see some of the tables and the bartender, Marisol, in the background. Also, note how many awesome customers we have! I'll give you a hint...zero.


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Here's a picture of Marisol. She's actually a terrible bartender because her hands are stuck that way, but she's the owner's cousin so they have to give her a job. It's sad, really.


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This is Juan. The Chef. He enjoys scuba diving, spear fishing, impregnating his wife and cooking gourmet peruvian dishes. He's actually a pretty cool dude and a damn fine chef. The other day, he made some dish for all the workers, and all it was was cut up hot dogs with rice in some sauce, but it tasted like heaven.

Here's a little video I took while I was at work. Not working. Because no one came in that night. At all.



So, I'm still working at the restaurant, though not for much longer. I think when I finish writing this, I'm going to call up the owner and tell him that it's not going to work out. I do like the job; it has some nice perks. At the end of the day, though, it's just not right for me. I could be working a dead end job 8 hours a day, seven days a week in Austin. It's just not what I came down here for. I know, I know, poor little rich boy. I just need to keep myself above water for a while, not buy the whole damn boat. Another job'll come along any day now, right?

Also, junior's been nagging me to come pick up my bike so I went yesterday and guess what? No freaking bike. "Oh, so sorry amigo, my esposa, she rode it into town." Ok dude. Whatever, you have one more chance. So I went today. Surely, SHIRLEY, it'll be ready and waiting for me to ride gloriously into the sunset? Right? No actually. "So sorry amigo, the bike, it has...flat tire. I call you when it's ready." Ok junior. Good luck getting rid of that bike that you spent, oh, i don't know, 2 weeks on. I'm going somewhere else. And I'm not getting a pink bike. Shove it.

So that's that. I didn't get to go to the beach today because it was rainy, but hopefully I'll make it over there tomorrow. With my camera. We'll see. Until then, bye for now.

adios

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Working Man

I got a job!

My first night at the restaurant, Los Balcones, was very interesting. I told the owner that I had experience waiting tables (I don't) so I could get the job. I didn't realize how much work it entails and I now have a new respect for servers the world over. So not only had I never done the job before, everything was in spanish. The menu was in spanish, the other workers speak pretty much all spanish and I had to write the orders down in spanish for the cooks. (It's actually kind of a weird role-reversal down here, I feel like I'm their underpaid migrant worker) I've taken several years of spanish classes and had a lot of practice...I'm not a complete rookie when it comes to the language, but that night was the single biggest learning experience of my life. My vocabulary grew by probably a hundred words I didn't drop any food, so I considered it a success. We had around 10 tables that night, which I thought was pretty good for such a small restaurant. So I went back the next night for the sequel, dreading it. My legs were tired and my brain was fried because of all the multi-language thinking I had to do and I was just exhausted from learning and doing a completely new job in just a matter of hours.

When I got Balcones on Sunday, i set up all the tables and swept and mopped the floor and all that good stuff and then waited. We had two tables that night. Five people in 8 hours. They were all guests in the hotel and it was the exact opposite of the night before. The place was dead and I actually felt kinda bad for the owner. Last night was the same way but with less people. I also had to hand out fliers, which I am terrible at. They gave me a bunch of slips of paper that permitted the bearer to a free drink and appetizer. Mistake. All the people that came in last night got their free stuff and left without even looking at a menu. It was painful to see the people just kind of shuffle out when they finished with their free shit.

My only real complaint is that I'm the only waiter at the moment, and I think they expect me to work everyday from 3 until 11, which sucks. I haven't been to the beach in several days (I know, I know, waaah waah waah, but if you were here it's all you'd want to do to) and I just don't think I can keep up this rigorous schedule of getting to work and sitting around for 8 hours. Junior even told me that my bike is ready and i haven't even had time to go pick it up yet. I do get a free meal out of it though, and a good one at that. The restaurant serves traditional peruvian style food, and it's awesome. Excellent, super fresh seafood. I watched the chef buy the crabs and lobster from some dudes who pulled up in a boat. They had JUST caught the damn things. Fresh.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now because that's really I've been doing the past few days. I'll get it all settled though and pass the news along to you guys.

adios

Saturday, September 27, 2008

something pink

Hello loyal followers, I am still alive. I know you've been on the edge of your seats, constantly refreshing this page, hoping to calm your insatiable appetite for my wonderful updates and insightful musings. Fear not! For I have returned.

Anyway, today marks my 7th day in Bocas and my 497th sand fly bite. Those damn things are relentless, they're like the terminator and I'm sarah connor. And they're elusive like leprechauns, i haven't been able to get a picture of one because i've been too busy wincing with pain when they find me and dig in.
If you're interested, you can read more on wikipedia:
I'm a hyperlink!

Since my last entry, I found a new place to live. The Blakers (no picture of them yet either. They're less elusive than sand flies but have better camoflauge) kinda broke it to me in a roundabout way that Jacy wanted her place back to herself, which is understandable. I'm the eager up-and-comer with the eye of tiger who just kind of fell into her house. I'd want my space back too. So i found a place a little further down the road in a newish condo. I found an ad in the paper advertising a 1 bedroom unit and a 2 bedroom unit so i gave it a shot, hoping that i could find a roommate to split the cost. When i got here, i was told by the landlord/person in charge that the two was the only one available but she'd be able to give it to me for the cost of the one bedroom place. So, I was like, hells yeah, and she was like, ohmigod, and the deal was done. I've been in here for three days i think, and I have wireless internet and nice little balcony that looks right out onto the beach and some power lines. Also, there's AIR CONDITIONING. Really, this was a major selling point. How did people get by without the wonders of a/c? It's magical.

Here's some shots of the place where i'm living:
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I'm on the second floor. If you look closely, you can actually see me sitting on the balcony.

Here's my view
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I just realized that this is really a shitty picture, but my view isn't that bad. You can't tell where the ocean ends and the sky begins so it's hard to get a sense of perspective. Also I was lying about being on the balcony in that other picture.

I've been making the short walk down to the beach for the past few days now. The beach in front of my house is called Playa El Istmito or Playa Cabaña, but I have no idea why. It's a beach anyway.
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There's a little black speck near the waterline on the left side of the picture. That was an old man who was speedwalking along the beach singing "who do you love?" over and over and over. And not just singing it, he was belting it out. He was proud. I could hear him all the way down the beach and it made me smile. "You sir. I love you."

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believe it or not, this is another picture of the beach, but in the opposite direction. I know, this is heavy stuff. You can sit down if you need to.

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This picture was originally meant to show how clear the water is, but I've decided that it's a great opportunity to show off my tan lines, which i will now call my racing stripes.



In mobility news, my bike still isn't ready. Junior, the bike man, may be dead and my bike may never be finished. Every time I go to his house to pick it up, I'm told it'll be a few more hours or one more day. Yesterday he told me it'd be noon today, but at noon he told me that he didn't work in the morning and it would be ready at 5. I did get a good look at the bike that he's building me. For some reason, probably because I keep bothering him, he's building me the brightest pink bike I've ever seen. It looks like something Elton John might have sold at a garage sale, but with less rhinestones. I planned on painting it black but when I went by to pick it up today, I asked him if he'd do it since it wasn't finished yet. Of course, he said yes, and now it'll probably be another week before it's ready.

I played the drums last night at Bahmfalks, a bar in bocas town. There was a guy playing guitar in the corner and the owner, Bill Bahmfalk, was talking about how he couldn't play drums but he wanted to jam. So, I interjected and told him that I have been know to eat beat drums occasionally. After the presidential debate was over we jammed for about a half hour. I got to talking to the guitar player, and it turned out that he's from florida and he lives in Bocas. He gave me the phone number for a restaurant that is opening tonight and needed waiters so I gave 'em a call today. I start tonight at 4.


Well, that's about it for now. I'm off to find a way to watch college football.

adios

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Before i get to far into this, let me say that I'm typing on a spanish keyboard, so it may be full of typos, tildes and accents-just bear with me here.

I've been in bocas for about four days now. Sorry for the lack of updates, i have to come to an internet cafe to get online and I was more focused on getting myself oriented than i was on writing a blog. Anyway, it's beautiful here. The flight over from panama city was nice because it was still pretty early in the morning and there were thick clouds of fog that hung on the jungle as we flew over. The descent into bocas brought the clear-green water into perfect focus.

The blakers met me at the airport and gave me a quick tour of the town, not that there could probably be anything other than a quick tour. There's a main road and several offshoots. That's about it. After they showed me around, they took me to the house I'd be living in until i found a place of my own. Here's a picture of it:
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I know it doesn't look like much, and that's because it isn't. It's basically a fifteen foot square of concrete with tin walls and a bathroom inside. There's a ladder inside that takes you up to a studio type area where the blaker's niece, jacy, sleeps. Jacy wasn't in town when i got in...she was out on a charter boat tour of the nearby islands and wouldn't get back until the next day, so i was on my own for at least 24 hours.

I did some exploring around town, walking everywhere so i could get a feel for the place and kind of figure out for myself where everything was. The house is only about a ten minute walk from the middle of town and its super easy to get around. The town itself is probably about the size of UT's campus, but could be a little bigger. Here's a picture of the main street, calle 3, in the middle of the day.
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The streets in town are always super busy with people peddling homemade satchels or shoes or whatever knick knacks they've got to sell. There's also a ton of people on bicycles. I'm having a bicycle made by my neighbor, Junior, and it should be ready in a day or two, so I'll be joining the pedaling crowd soon enough.

The beach is a short walk from my house as well, and it's just gorgeous. I've been swimming there several times but have yet to take my camera because i'm afraid it might get stolen. before too long, i'll lug it out there and take some fotos.

I tagged along with Jacy and one of her friends to Wizard beach a day or two ago. It's on a different island, Bastimientos, but it's only a $2.50 boat ride away. Once we landed on the island, it was about a thirty minute hike through serious jungle to get the beach, but it was more than worth it. I can't think of a time that i've been the only person on a beach, much less a beach as beautiful as that one. The water was absolutely pristine and except for the occasional sand fly bite, the trip was just perfect. It won't be the last time i make the trek to playa wizard and next time i'll be sure to take my camera.

Here's a picture of the bocas breeze office.
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that's where the magic happens. the magic of producing a newspaper, that is.

This is the view of the water from right next the office.
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it's too bad that the sun isn't out because you can't see how pretty the water is.

Here's a pretty cool picture of the canal from the air.
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I took this picture of a taxi as it zipped by me
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most of the taxis here on the island are pretty new toyota or isuzu trucks. They pretty much have to be, apparently, because to get to some parts of the island you have to have four wheel drive.


That's all i've got for now. Hopefully, I'll take a lot more pictures in the coming days as well as find a reliable internet source where i can use my own computer and keyboard.

adios

Friday, September 19, 2008

Day one

Well, I finally made it to Panama. I'm sitting in my hotel room in Panama City, exhausted and ready for sleep. I've been up since around 3 am and going pretty much nonstop ever since. My flight left San Antonio pretty early, and after a short stop in H-town, I was finally finally finally on my way. My cheeks hurt from all the smiling I did today. I was giddy like children who just discovered the hilarity of farts. My flight here was only about a third of the way full, and I had an entire row to myself. AND there was a movie, too bad it was Made of Honor. Boo.

I picked up my bags, made it through customs and found my cab driver waiting for me just inside the terminal. I wonder if the novelty of someone holding a sign with your name on it at the airport ever wears off. I hope not. We exchanged pleasantries and before I knew it we were off like a flaming racehorse. The driving here is awesome. Stop signs, lane signals, traffic signals, pedestrian right-of-way and pretty much all accepted norms of driving in the US simply do not exist. It's survival of the fastest.
Also, their city buses are amazing works of art. Check this one out:
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Yes, that is some sort of awesome superhero painted on the side. It makes the bus faster. There was also an amazing airbrushed portrait of Neptune on the hood, naked and holding a trident. Really.

We made it to the Miraflores locks on the canal, where I went up on top of this building and snapped a bunch of pictures while some boats ships ran the gauntlet.
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These two ships were HUGE. They were loaded with over 1000 containers each. The black one slid through the canal with only two feet of clearance on each side. They moved slowly.

This is an interesting photo.
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On the left, you have the Pacific Ocean, and on the left, you have the Atlantic. I've simplified the process slightly-there are several locks throughout the canal that raise and lower the vessels, but you get the gist of it.

Here's an "after" picture:
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That's basically the same shot, but with the locks opened and the ship sliding on through. Also, you can kind of get an idea for how many containers these damn things were carrying. I'd like to see what's inside one of them. I hope it's not people. Ok, that's not funny, but I'm leaving it in.

Here's a picture of me looking like wet ass at the Panama canal:
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Check out the JUNGLE on the other side of the canal. I feel like one of the Oceanic 6.

And this is just a picture of a guy with a shirt that I thought was really cool:
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Just kidding! It says god bless panama.


I'm waking up bright and early again tomorrow morning for my flight to bocas, which should yield more colorful and jealousy-inducing pictures.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Orientation

So, one of the perks of being unemployed is that I don't have to get up at a certain times for things like responsibilities or whatever. That means I'm up late, and bored. So I decided that I'd give you guys a crash course in geography to help you understand where I'll be. It'll be fun.

So here's a big map:
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As you can see, Panama (roughly the circled area) is a surprisingly horizontal country. I know! I'm baffled by this as well, but, after all it is our first line of defense against South America.

Here's a slightly more detailed map of the general area:
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The circled area contains the town that I will live in, Bocas del Toro. Bocas del Toro, of course, means something in spanish.

Anyway, that's it for now.

Primero

Just checking in to make sure everything here is in working order.

I'm still in Austin for now, getting all my ducks in a row before I take off. Come Friday, though, I'll be leaving on a jet plane.